SeedLegals Startup Awards

Book Simon.

15 October 2026 · Shoreditch Town Hall

SeedLegals has now made a very compelling case for why Simon should attend.
Simon agrees.
There is currently one minor disagreement over the commercial terms.

No recruiters. No agency fees. No equity required.

Shoreditch Town Hall, EC1V 9LT

The case for Simon

Why SeedLegals might want Simon there.

✓No Faff is actively raising investment.

✓We're already SeedLegals customers.

✓The investor list is exactly the sort of network we need to be building.

✓Simon will actually talk to people rather than stand next to the bar checking LinkedIn.

✓We'd like to explore future No Faff x SeedLegals event partnerships.

✓We could very plausibly be supplying the drinks next time.

✓Simon owns at least one decent suit.

The honest bit

Why Simon isn't already booked.

01Bootstrap budget.

02London.

03Manchester.

04London again.

05Eleven-month-old child.

06Trademark applications.

07Founding a drinks company is, unexpectedly, quite expensive.

None of these are especially glamorous reasons.

The itinerary

The logistics.

12 October

Simon + Marisa → London

13 October

Incubator programme

14 October

Back to Manchester

15 October, morning

Zev's vaccinations

15 October, evening

Simon is prepared to make the deeply sensible decision to return to London if SeedLegals provides sufficient encouragement.

Yes, this is quite a lot of travelling.
No, Simon has not thought particularly hard about the M6.

The real decision-maker

There is one stakeholder with more power than SeedLegals.

The babysitter.

If Simon is going to make the slightly ridiculous Manchester → London → Manchester → London journey, we need enough notice to organise childcare and convince the rest of the household that this is a sensible idea.

Guest-list decision deadline

8 October 2026, 6pm

Days

Hours

Mins

Secs

After that, the probability of Simon appearing begins to decline rapidly.
Not because he's playing hard to get.
Because babysitters have calendars too.

Due diligence

The business case.

Empty seat

Future drinks sponsor

Unlikely

Founder introductions made

Word of mouth generated

Gratitude level

Negligible

Simon

Future drinks sponsor

Plausible

Founder introductions made

Hopefully several

Word of mouth generated

Almost certainly too much

Gratitude level

Disproportionate

This analysis has not been independently audited.

Consideration

What SeedLegals gets in return.

A genuinely enthusiastic No Faff founder in the room.

Someone actively raising who will make proper use of the introductions.

A customer who already likes SeedLegals and has a proven tendency to become absurdly loyal to companies that treat him well.

First conversation when No Faff is ready to supply drinks at future SeedLegals events.

And the satisfaction of knowing that an increasingly elaborate email campaign actually worked.

Apple repaired Simon's Coke-damaged MacBook for free in 2009. He is still telling people about it in 2026. Draw your own conclusions.

Looking ahead

Thinking ahead to 2027.

If next year's event has espresso martinis, there will almost certainly be people who love the idea but don't particularly fancy the 1am caffeine aftermath.

That is where No Faff starts to become rather useful.

Decaf coffee. Evening event. Less faff.

Ready to make a commercially courageous decision?

One guest-list place.
One unnecessarily grateful founder.
Potentially years of goodwill.